21:29 - April 26, 2002
condescending
I don't understand why nobody else understands that I'm not trying to be condescending, yet still think I have a right to laugh at the world. Maybe because that logic is hard to follow (possible it isn't even logic, in which case I AM condescending. hmm.) My English teacher is constantly saying 'Oh, don't look down at me,' when I try to explain to her that the reason I got a C on my paper is that the student teacher didn't understand my humor enough to know that it was satire. When she says that, my face is invariably about ten inches higher than hers, due to the massive height difference, so I invariably start giggling behind my hand, and she thinks I'm laughing at her, which starts her up again. I made a mockery of a Gucci ad in class; I cut out a picture of a painfully skinny woman lying in the sand, twisted, trying to look sexy but instead looking like a little girl. Under it, I wrote: 'Honey, stop rolling around in the sand, and pull your clothes back up. If you don't finish what's on your plate, you won't get any dessert. GROW UP. (www.grow-up.com)'

I did not, however, add that she probably didn't want any dessert, as I wanted to retain some semblance of class. I'm pretty skinny myself, and didn't want to handle snide remarks. Although if someone had offered me dessert, I wouldn't have been at all adverse to the idea.

I need to be drawing a cartoon of Satan-Erik invading Mike's iPod right now.

----

she got the goldmine
i got the shaft
i'm 747
she's anti-aircraft
(she's thomas jefferson, i'm william howard taft)
(she is the nobel prize, i am a rough draft)
she makes me insecure
but that should make her fear me more...

-Caviar, 'Goldmine'

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