22:13 - December 16, 2002
that i can't do
Two.

This goes against everything I've ever said and I know it, but I do not like to be the one being pursued. I might like it even less than being the pursuer (this of course assuming that nothing will ever happen, because it won't. In both cases; pursued and pursuer. Is nothing reciprocated anymore? It seems not. Blah, blah, blah.)

Can I recall to you something that happened a long time ago?
It was pitch black and cold and tree filled in my vision, and I was driving despite all of that, blinking back the inky dark as if it were coming from inside my eyelids instead of from the lack of sun. I parked at the beach even though it was past hours. I parked across four spots so they would think I was a service vehicle, which always break the laws because they know they're exempt from tickets. I sat on top of my car and drew the entire night with a black pastel, and then I shaded it with a grey pastel, and made it into a paper airplane and flew it over the beach. And then I drove home.

Stupid shit like that that I can't do here because no car and no lake and paper costs money bothers me.

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