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7:47 p.m. - October 24, 2001 For some reason, I don't mind the thoughts of guns and cannons and bombs, even atomic bombs and nuclear weapons - I mean, obviously they are not COOL things and I would not like it they DETONATED somewhere nearby - but the idea of them doesn't put chills in my stomach, like biological warfare. Picture it, if this Anthrax thing goes the way terrorists want it to. It will spread throughout the air. People will start dying just from breathing, hospitals filling up, the remaining survivors wearing gas masks. Loved ones losing loved ones, people dying alone who'd always hoped to have loved ones.. we'd all go, just like that. And if it went farther? It wouldn't just be people dying over here. People do travel overseas, you know, and bring it WITH them, starting the cycle over there. The dying starts all over the world. We could potentially wipe ourselves out like this. Oh, I know the odds are completely against it. After all, it's incredibly difficult to kill off an entire race, especially a swollen, overpopulated, hardy mess like us. AIDS has tried. Black fever has tried in the past, smallpox, even flus, before they could treat them. It's very difficult. And Anthrax is hard to transmit from person to person. But doesn't it scare anyone else, the invisible killer, traveling in mail and animals and powder? The invisibility of it, maybe. You'd notice if somebody set up a bomb in your backyard. But it'd be less apparent if someone placed an envelope inendated with Anthrax in your mailbox, or any other deadly bacteria for that matter. Landmines in Asia, you know, there's still millions of them out there. Their invisibility; people can be dead in seconds with no prior warning. They'll never find all of them. And YET WE CONTINUE TO PLANT THEM. Fuck, what mental defect runs in our race? My stomach has hurt for a few days, and even though I know it's PMS, because I get the exact same thing every month, there's this nagging little voice in my head going 'maybe it's intestinal anthrax', which is totally stupid and irrational, but it shouldn't even have to be a thought! Oh, fuck verbosity, fuck rationality, just fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.
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