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10:45 a.m. - 2001-08-19 CD, you bring out the most effortless persona. I don't think about making an image with you at all. You know most of my images anyway, if not firsthand at least through the grapevine. I don't go to you with problems, not because of any fault of yours, but that it just isn't my instinct. Sometimes I need sympathy, and we have a total 'no bullshit' policy. Which is good... it puts an end to pointless coddling. EK, you're the king of pointless coddling; or at least you were for a very long time there. Emotionally charged issues go straight to you, because you're warm and calm and will listen endlessly. There's a touch of image there; I sometimes check what I say around you as to have you think or not think some generalization about me... you're also the king of generalizations, and I take that into account. I don't really talk about sex around you, either. RH, I'm brutally honest and tend to talk forever with you, but I do it in a monotone. I don't want to have you think I'm actually feeling anything; just thinking it objectively. I know you can see through this; I don't care. I tell you about problems and laugh about them the whole way through, even if in the next second I will turn around and go complaining, full of emotion, over to EK. I think I see my own issues this way; as having a light side and a dark side; these views just manifest themselves with different people. Incidentally, I do talk about sex with you quite a bit. NL: Second in line for the effortless persona, I've known you forever and I know you see me as fleeting, so whatever image or smokescreen I throw up, you know I'll move on, so it's pointless. I keep the topics light with you most of the time, except when I can't help it. MK: You make me tired. I'm the observer around you; you talk and flail around and I watch you. This is an unusual position for me; I feel more comfortable being the one flailing around. That's why you disconcert me sometimes, and I just prop myself up against something and watch you, silently. You think I don't care, I know, but I do. AR, CV, RA, EA, all you former freshmen out there...: Our flailing is semi-equal. I don't like to show emotion around you either, for fear I'll lose the 'upper hand'. What upper hand? I don't know, maybe the one that says I'm older and wiser and can teach you bunches of stuff but if I let you see that I'm not infallible this will all crumble to the ground. Senseless? Yes. NS: I've always wanted to BE you for some reason, so that makes it very difficult to be myself around you, whatever myself is. (listen to me, right? I just went on about how 'myself' is five hundred billion different people and then have the nerve to say something like 'I can't act like myself'.) Either way, I think you're hilarious, so I tend to keep quiet and watch you for maximum entertainment. :) TA: I think I've been everybody to you that I've ever been to anyone else. The fact that you switch personas so much makes me feel justified to do the same thing. I am Flippant And Careless, I am Broken Down Crying Helpless, I am I'll Beat You Up And Then Use Your Bones For Chopsticks Angry, I am Sympathetic But Firm, I am Lost For Words, I am Sarcastic And Heartless and God Damn Pissed Off, I am Silent And Listening, etc. etc. etc. What haven't I been? I honestly can't think of anything. To anybody who ever wanted to know who I was: this is your entry too.
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