9:44 p.m. - November 19, 2001
missing him
And for the longest time, I've been trying to fool myself into thinking I didn't miss him.
It worked, until tonight.
I did miss him. I do miss him. And it all reminds me of why I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I am reminded of the fact that I do, because, well, I always will. He's not going to come, and I know this, but if I didn't before, I do now. And the less I talk to him, the more I can block him out, but the more I talk to him, the more I miss him, and after awhile it's painful. A vicious circle. I'll be here forever wondering what could have been.
If only we didn't connect so well.

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