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8:43 p.m. - January 16, 2002 (where is my life?) FROSTY CAST KENJI, a hungry teenager AMELIA, another hungry teenager KESS, yet another hungry teenager KRISTEN, a McDonald�s employee TYRONE, a Wendy�s employee ------------------ Scene I (AMELIA is driving. KENJI is sitting in front, KESS is sitting in back.) KESS: (leaning between two front seats) I want a Frosty. AMELIA: A Frosty? KESS: Yeah. AMELIA: I don�t know where a Wendy�s is. KESS: Me neither. KENJI: Why don�t we just stop by McDonalds and get you a shake or something? KESS: I want a Frosty. KENJI: It�s the same thing! KESS: But I�m having a craving for a Frosty.... AMELIA: Then YOU tell me where a Wendy�s is! KENJI: Look, if she doesn�t get a Frosty she�s going to whine in my ear all night. Let�s just go to that McDonalds over there and see if they know where a Wendy�s is. KESS: Isn�t that sort of rude? AMELIA: Do you want a Frosty or not? (AMELIA pulls into the McDonalds parking lot. KENJI and KESS run in.) (KRISTEN is pulling down the shades and switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED.) KENJI: Excuse me! Excuse me! Do you... KRISTEN: I�m sorry, we�re closed. KESS: I know, but we just want to know if... KRISTEN: I�m sorry. We�re closed. KENJI: We don�t want any food! Okay? KRISTEN: It doesn�t matter what you want. We�re closed. Goodbye. KESS: I WANT A FROSTY! KRISTEN: (surprised) What? KENJI: She wants a Frosty. Do you know where a Wendy�s is? KRISTEN: Go south, turn right on Lawrence. It�ll be a few blocks down on your right. KESS: Thank you so much. KRISTEN: (bewildered) No problem. (KESS and KENJI get into AMELIA�s car and AMELIA heads toward Wendy�s. --------------------- Scene II (KRISTEN dials TYRONE, who works at the Wendy�s she has just given directions to.) KRISTEN: I think I better call Tyrone.... (ring! ring!) TYRONE: Wendy�s, how can I help you? KRISTEN: Tyrone, this is Kristen. TYRONE: Oh, hey. What�s going on? KRISTEN: I just wanted to let you know... there�s some crazy kids who just came in here demanding Frosties. TYRONE: What, at a McDonalds? You guys don�t make Frosties. KRISTEN: Yeah, I know. They wanted directions to a Wendy�s. I�m just calling you up to warn you they�re on their way. TYRONE: Well.... thanks, I guess. If they�re so crazy why�d you direct them here? KRISTEN: Because it�s going to be funny to see how YOU deal with them... TYRONE: Oh, thanks a lot. KRISTEN: Call me back if you need anything. (click) TYRONE: Okay.. Kristen? Kristen? Hello? Kristen? (mutters angrily) -------------- Scene III (AMELIA pulls into the Wendy�s parking lot and parks the car. KESS, KENJI, and AMELIA get out of the car and head for the front door.) KENJI: (pulling on the door) It�s locked! KESS: WHAT? No Frosty? KENJI: Chill out. If you don�t get a Frosty it�s not the end of the world. KESS: But.... AMELIA: The drive-thru�s open. KESS: You guys don�t understand. It�s like.. I have to have a Frosty. Like, right... KENJI: She SAID the drive-thru�s open. KESS: Oh. (they walk over to the drive thru window. Nothing happens.) AMELIA: Why aren�t they responding? KENJI: Maybe you need a car. AMELIA: That�s stupid. That�s pedestrian discrimination. HELLO?? KENJI: No, I think you actually might need a car. KESS: (jumping up and down in front of the window) Maybe it�s got a weight-sensor. Maybe we should jump on it. AMELIA: Kess, you weigh about one-one hundredth of what a car weighs. KESS: Not YOUR car. AMELIA: My car probably wouldn�t set it off either. KENJI: Look, how about you go get your car, Amelia, and we�ll walk alongside it and make our order. AMELIA: That�s stupid. I shouldn�t have to get my car. That�s discrimination. HELLO? KESS: I want a Frosty. KENJI: If it�s discrimination, then we�ll be fighting the system by not being in the car when we order, ok? AMELIA: Well, that�s stupid. (she goes to get her car) (When the car comes around, KESS sits on the hood and KENJI walks alongside it. Going about two miles an hour, they pull up to the drive-thru window.) AMELIA: Are you going to serve us now? Now we�ve got a car? I should sue you guys for discrimination... TYRONE: (through microphone) Welcome to Wendy�s. AMELIA: (muttering) That�s what I thought. TYRONE: Hello? You must be the wild kids. KENJI: What? TYRONE: You just went to McDonalds, didn�t you? KENJI: What is this, some kind of weird inter-fast-food-restaurants-communication system? TYRONE: No, I�m just psychic. Don�t cause any trouble around here or I�ll come out here and kick your ass. KESS: All I want is a Frosty. TYRONE: Don�t you know cars are meant to be rode in, not sat upon? AMELIA: Why do we even have to have a car? TYRONE: Because it�s called a DRIVE-thru. Not a walk-thru. That�s what the restaurant is for. KENJI: But the restaurant�s closed. TYRONE: So what? KESS: Can I have a Frosty? TYRONE: Not until you get in the car. AMELIA: What kind of drive-thru are you, anyway? TYRONE: A DRIVE-thru. AMELIA: I�m going to complain to your supervisor. KESS: Can I just have a Frosty? AMELIA: Don�t get in the car, Kess. KESS: But I want a Frosty. KENJI: Jesus. Just get in the car so she can get a Frosty and we can get out of here. TYRONE: Dave would have wanted you to get in the car, ok? AMELIA: What? Who? TYRONE: Think. You�re at a Wendy�s. I say �Dave�. Who do you think I�m talking about? KENJI: But he�s dead. AMELIA: He is? TYRONE: That�s the point, idiots! I�m honoring his memory by making you get inside your car and order through your window nicely like Dave damn well intended you to do. KESS: Can we just.. this is stupid. I just want a Frosty. TYRONE: Dave doesn�t want you to have a Frosty unless you GET IN THE CAR! KESS: Fine. (she gets in the front seat next to AMELIA) AMELIA: Don�t do it! He�s discriminating against pedestrians. KENJI: Oh, you and your stupid political paranoia. (he gets in the back seat.) AMELIA: You GUYS! He is! TYRONE: I�m honoring Dave�s memory. AMELIA: You�re a nut. TYRONE: Do you want your Frosty or not? AMELIA: It�s not MY Frosty. KESS: Just don�t argue with him. I really want this Frosty, you know. KENJI: Amelia, apologize for calling him a nut. AMELIA: Sorry I called you a nut. TYRONE: One Frosty, coming up. Now you stay in the car when you pick up your order, or I�m going to take the Frosty you just paid for and throw it in the bushes. Do I make myself clear? KESS: Yes. Please, please just let me have my Frosty. Please. (AMELIA drives the car over to the pick-up window and is handed a nice cold Frosty, which she hands back to KESS. KESS drinks blissfully.) AMELIA: Are you happy now? You made me compromise my political ideals for that damn Frosty. KENJI: Shut up. Fin.
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