3:40 p.m. - December 04, 2001
corner cot
Sleeping in the nurse's office today, I was awakened by one of the nurses with a teacher in tow, asking me if I could move to another cot. Confused, I took my time getting up. I thought they were just going to change the sheets on the one I was on. But no, after I'd given them enough funny looks, the nurse said, "Oh, Mrs. ______ would like the corner cot. Just... to be separate from the students." The nurse went to get the curtain divider, and Mrs. _______ avoided my eyes.
"Yes, we are monsters, aren't we?" I murmured as Mrs. ________ sank down in her rightful place, a place I didn't deserve, being a student, so I had to give it up.

Also, a Short Survey found on Elfling's diary.

1) do you remember your dreams?
Usually, I do. My dreams have been said to be unusual by a number of people because more than half of them are lucid. I'm well aware I'm dreaming, and if I'm positive, then I do the silliest things, like jump off buildings and jump cute strangers... So I awaken laughing at the absurdity of it all, and then tuck it away in a secret place in my head.

2)have you ever seen a ghost?
I wouldn't know what to look for. Maybe.

3)do you do your homework?
I do enough (probably a bit more than half) to not totally fuck my grade,but I'm not one of those people who absolutely HAS to get EVERYTHING in or I'll DIE. I can deal with B's and C's. Actually, if it weren't for the whole grades-link-to-success bullshit we have, I wouldn't give any sort of fuck at all. I like to learn. But I think you should learn fo yourself, not for a letter on a paper.

4)where's the farthest you've traveled?
Probably Hawaii. Or Vancouver, are you talking country difference, or does it matter?

5) with whom, at what time and to where?
Hawaii, I was three years old, with my parents and my nanny. On the plane on the way over, the stewardesses (because then that's what you called them), dressed me up in a little kimono and had me serve chocolate to all the first class passengers. When I was done, they took me to the little kitchen and let me make my own ice-cream sundae. I remember all this perfectly; I put lots of butterscotch on it.

6)do you sleep with stuffed animals?
I have a stuffed panda at each house that I usually sleep with. But if I don't, it isn't any big deal.

7)do you eat meat?
Yes... yes I do.

8)what'd you say to break up with your last SO?
I stammered around a bit and then came out with the fact that he didn't attract me at all. And that he was a bad kisser. (Before you start yelling, I'd told him that BEFORE we'd broken up and he'd made no attempts to ..ahem.. work with me to fix it. So.. I was justified.)

9)how was self-esteem a factor in your decision?
Oh, I didn't want to waste my time with someone who didn't do anything to a) my heart and/or b) my sex drive. Either or is generally ok, but not neither. It was as simple as wanting better for myself.

10)do you ever sit in the shower and pretend it's a rain forest?
No, but I linger in the shower for long periods of time because I hate the rush of cold you get when you step out.

11)why is your favorite color your favorite color?
Dark red and tonal grays, because they set each other off so nicely.

12)do you like jelly on your toast?
No. The only thing I like on my toast is avocado.

13)grape or strawberry?
Yich, apple.

14)have you ever won a goldfish at the carnival?
Several times, but the funniest time was when I was in first grade and some big mean fifth grade boys won a goldfish and then threw it in the trash, just to be funny. I ran over to the can, scooped the fish out, put it in a jar, and ran all the way home with it. This fish lived for five years.

15)what game?
The one where you throw balls into champagne glasses.

17)what'd you name your goldfish)?
I didn't name it.

18)why did you call her that?
I'm bizarro. I never named any of my pets other than our cat, who my mother named, but I always named my stuffed animals.

19)do you harbor any apocalyptic visions?
Just the normal one, where you're looking out the window and you see a speck in the distance, and it gets larger and larger and larger and oh god it's a fucking asteroid and the next second there is nothing.

________

If I was a work of art, I would be M. C. Escher's Lizards. I am a bizarre juxtaposition of the real and the unreal. Based in the realm of mathematics, my two-dimensional appearance belies a complex and free-willed behaviour which both delights and confuses people. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

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