17:08 - November 26, 2002
beat me to a pulp
Gahhhhhh. Registration is my evil archnemesis from the planet College. Instead of having Linguistics, Creative Writing, Music Theory, Aural Skills, Ethics, and Spanish, I have this silly Human Geography shit that I suppose I have to take anyway but was planning on putting off until senior year and NO SPANISH or ETHICS. Apparently, though I took 5 years of Spanish in high school, I would have had to start over again at Intro, which only would have happened over my dead (or highly amnesiac) body. Were I to have lost my memory on the plane ride over, or maybe something having to do with the 5000 foot altitude difference, they would have a point. Otherwise... yeah, nobody cares. Whatever.

Paxil is the other evil archnemesis, but not from the planet College, although this planet aggravates it. I put the bottle of pills somewhere where I don't have to look at them; i.e. behind Ashley's makeup collection. To reach my salvation I would have to fight my way through bottles and bottles of globby mascara and dangerously scented perfume, and it's not yet worth it, even though I feel grey and horrible and flat and I have a perpetual head and stomachache. Whoever made Paxil legal and weed illegal was having some serious logistical problems. What happens when you go off Paxil, even 5 measly milligrams of it when the normal minimum dosage is 20? Nausea. Greyness and horribleness. Pounding headaches. Tendency to cry for no reason. Aggravated dramatics. Lost weight. What happens when you stop smoking weed? NOTHING. Maybe you'll be a little surprised at your newfound ability not to be munching on something at all times, hence MAYBE lost weight, but that's it. However, what are the effects of Paxil? Muted depression rather than acute. Decreased sex drive. Muted everything, come to think of it. Inability to drink or else you'll become violently ill. Effects of weed? Hunger. Cool mind stuff. Depression vanished. Increased sex drive. Inability to drink or else you'll become violently ill. Lidded eyes. The horrors, the horrors!

I swear that this time I'm staying off. Of Paxil, I mean. It already made someone else out of me for three years; at this tender young age that's one sixth of my life made into something else, some human with the inability to feel extremes and the complete absence of a sex drive, in the insanely hormonally charged years, no less! Fuck Paxil.

(Tomorrow if I'm back on it the world has permission to beat me to a pulp.)

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