16:53 - November 20, 2002
black and white
Maybe this is a contradiction, but being lonely isn't all-encompassing. If it were, I would want to leave. And I don't want to leave. If I left, I would never hear Chris at 3 AM, blurry on the phone line and happydrunk, trying to get me to come over and party even though I know he and Jeremy are the only ones still awake. If I left, I wouldn't be able to tease Rachel about the fact that she has a new boy toy every 48 hours, and none of them 'suit' her. If I left, I wouldn't be able to sit in Deviance class and have a conversation with Claudia and Fleetwood, across three rows, loudly, about the aesthetics of obtaining psychedelic mushrooms. If I left, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep to the wafting sounds of Nick's guitar from down the hall. If I left, I would never run into Aaron all stoned at the gas station and try to have a conversation but fail so miserably it's just funnier that way. I wouldn't want to leave. So it's not all black and white.

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