22:11 - September 09, 2002
all it is
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't know, I didn't smoke opium, that was someone else, a quote from someone else. So stop freaking out on me, as so many people have been since 1 this morning.

I had something to write, but I don't remember it... as of this morning, at least... on the phone with my mother, so it can't have happened today. I'm going to see Incubus on October 6th...

LOOK. People are really nice and I'm not even noticing. Jason told me to stop by anytime and we'd go climbing. Chelsea yelled her room number over the bridge at my back going up the hill. Chris and Andrew opened their apartment doors to me, shared their chairs and their food and their drugs and their friendship. Matt and Lance are always passing me about eight times a day and saying 'come on up'. Roy left a note for me on his door telling me where he'd gone when we were supposed to meet there. I mean, people are nice. And all I do is bitch about how I don't have any friends.

Here is a list of what I like about college:

1. The shower in my room is nicer than the shower at home.
2. I HAVE a shower in my room.
3. The weather is constantly gorgeous.
4. There are rainbows all the time.
5. I have air-conditioning.
6. My classes are all awesome.
7. I don't have to call anyone; all I have to do is wander around and knock on people's doors.

I'm not done, but I'm tired, and we all get the point.

It's odd how I realize that I preach to another me, the one who tends not to be logical at difficult times, like it's going to help once those difficult times come. I pop pills like candy, baby...

That's all it is, maybe.

If my hands start shaking and the weight keeps coming off, but I'm still able to draw a picture of it and color it beautiful, there's still hope.

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