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6:17 p.m. - October 19, 2001 1. I have issues with the truth; I think there's more to it than that one explanation: the TRUTH, like it's some kind of one-dimensional ideal to reach. 2. I am seventeen-and-a-half years old(oh, don't I sound like a kid? 'and a half..'.. I'm so childishly proud. 3. Matt, I don't like Oprah either. I'd rather hold everything inside me for the rest of my life than spill it out to that bitch on some show. Ask me if you want a better explanation. 4. I'm wearing a silver watch that was my grandmother's at one point. It says 'Timex'. 5. Living in my house, instead of the Underwear Gnomes (ever see that episode?), I've got the Pen and Pencil Gnomes. They reside in my backpack, too. 6. Y'know how those surveys that are trying to prove humans are robotic pigs always ask you how many hours of TV you watch per week? HALF AN HOUR, BITCH. IF THAT. 7. When Jack and Rose were drowning in Titanic, I was giggling madly about the fact that Jack felt the need to state that he was cold, over and over, when OBVIOUSLY he was in the North Atlantic. 8. I've seen Dogma seven times. 9. I have about seven pairs of pants that are too short on me, so I don't wear them. I keep telling myself that someday I'll use them for sewing, but we all know that's a bald-faced lie. 10. My hair is blond, naturally. Most people don't know that. It has changed color nine times since junior year. 11. What does 'bald-faced' mean, anyway? All women are bald-faced technically... HEY... 12. I alternate between thinking feminism is a load of shit and thinking it's an incredibly good cause. Real feminists hate me. 13. I like almost everybody, but love almost nobody. 14. I secretly worry that N'Sync are actually a group of lifelike robots manipulated and created by scientists. 15. I am petrified of vomiting. 16. Yes, those ARE my lips at the bottom of the screen, but I took that picture by accident. I was pointing the camera in the wrong direction. 17. I am endlessly amused by my father's headset telephone... when he's on it, he seems to be walking around the house having conversations with himself. Perhaps he is. 18. I am quite enamored with a boy who, with all due respect, looks like an Oompa-Loompa. 19. Oh, and yes that also WAS me in the picture with the LOST shirt that was up before the lips, whoever caught it. I'd just come back from a Teen Idols show. 20. My biggest pet peeve is people (and things) that smell. No matter how nice someone is, if they smell, I don't like them. And yes, I KNOW that's hypocritical but so is the world. So THERE. 21. For some reason, I nominated someone I've actively disliked for the past four years as the senior class's Most Likely To Succeed. Probably to make up for disliking her all those years. 22. When I'm driving, sometimes I have this urge to close my eyes and keep them closed. (Note to possible police officers and paranoid old women: I don't actually DO it. Maybe. Heh heh.) 23. Cell phones piss me off. They piss me off so much I don't even know how to use one. 24. My car is broken. BAAAAHHHH! 25. I secretly harbor the fear that every musical piece I've ever written is crap. 26. Also every literary piece. 27. In second grade, I had a massive crush on my reading teacher. In kindergarten, I had a massive crush on my music teacher. They were both women. 28. In sixth grade, I pretended to have a massive crush on my male USO teacher, to prove to myself that I didn't only like female teachers, but in truth he kind of had an ugly nose. 29. I hate crowd surfing, and I hate crowd surfers. Moshpits are all good, but I hate the crowd surfing thing. Who wants to be watching the crowd, wondering when an airborne pair of boots is going to kick you in the head, when you could be watching the concert? 30. I hate the term 'poser', but you already knew that. Consequently I'm always verbally kicking Chelsea's ass. 31. I don't like the taste of almost all alcohol. I don't like being drunk. I don't like the aftereffects of being drunk. Therefore I don't drink. People can never figure that out. 32. Cigarettes are way stupider than marijuana. 33. Speaking of marijuana, it should be legalized. 34. So should prostitution. 35. So should same-sex marriages. 36. I have freakishly low blood pressure. 37. My ATM card cracked in half. 38. I have hazel eyes. 39. I'm getting lazy. 40. Ooh, burst of creativity! 41. I always lose at the game 'Ten Fingers' even though I've really not done that much. Somehow I think they've rigged it. 42. My father is stalking Bill Gates. 43. I like to play with staple-removers. 44. I work at a music store, 'work' being a questionable term. 45. I beat my high score at Pinball there. 46. My hands are very long and knobby, with ragged fingernails. I should have been a man. 47. Speaking of being a man, I wish I could be one for a week. I would take great pleasure in peeing, plus hours more playing with myself. Isn't that what being male is all about? 48. My belly button is very normal, as belly-buttons go. 49. But once Julie licked it, so that makes it special. 50. My own sexuality is a moot point for me. I like who I happen to like, and if they happen to be male, then they happen to be male, and if they happen to be female, then they happen to be female, and I really don't care one way or the other as long as it's real. Got it? 51. I'm scared that I'm innately attracted to really dumb pretty-face preppy boys. Oh well. 52. I've liked two brothers before. That was strange, because one of them walked in on me kissing the other one once, and, well, that was.. strange. 53. I'M EXCITED ABOUT THE COSTUME PARTY! WOOHOO! 54. The first time somebody French-kissed me, I was fifteen. And I bit their tongue hard, instinctively. After that, we were kind of through. 55. When I was six, I wanted to be a dentist when I grew up. 56. Now I have no clue what I want to be. Plus I think it's sad that we think of ourselves in terms of occupations. Like in 'The Giver', remember that book? Everybody's title was their occupation. Well, the question 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' is so sad to me. If I were a child again and knew better, I'd say 'happy'. In answer to the question, I mean. 57. I'm getting an A in math. Isn't that WEIRD? I've never done that before in my life. 58. I have size twelve feet. 59. Fittingly, because I'm six-two. 60. Sometimes I really enjoy being tall, statuesque, whatever, I enjoy looking down at the world, but at other times I wish I was little and cute so I could snuggle into people like an adorable fuzzy animal, but as it is, I'm a tall skinny hard-edged person. Also, it's impossible to shop. 61. Van Gogh was much better of a painter after he was declared insane. 62. I AM So BITTER ABOUT _____ and _____. Oh. That's helpful. 63. It's quite idealistic, but I'm hoping to have the quintessential 'high school sweetheart' before I graduate. The prom date, the snuggly in the hallways, blah. Problem is, if I did, he'd probably bore me to no end and I'd dump him. 64. Ooh, I enjoy black makeup. Only in my house though. 65. My middle name is HA HA HA!! YOU THOUGHT I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO TELL YOU MY MIDDLE NAME! 66. I'm going to be a vampire for Halloween. If people don't donate in the donations box, I will bite their necks with my fake fangs. 67. I have tendons in strange places on my hands. What are those, and why are they in my palm? Aren't palms supposed to be all soft? 68. &&&&&:-) Look, it's Marge Simpson. Also, I've only watched the Simpsons once... on the school bus on our eighth grade trip to Springfield. 69. I am so immature that I noticed this was number 69 and actually commented on it. 70. I learned what the word 'gay' meant in the fourth grade, when my friend pointed to a hot tub and told me we shouldn't go in there because gay guys go in there. I was thoroughly confused. 71. Since, I've learnt the term properly. 72. I have to go grocery shopping because my dad won't and our refrigerator consists of A) beer and B) carrots. 73. Why is the phone flashing? WHY IS IT FLASHING? It WON'T STOP. 74. There, I threw an eraser at it. 75. Stores are prejudiced against my feet. 76. Ooh, I'm 3/4 of the way done. 77. When I think of me as a three year old, there's a picture in my head of me in my owl dress coming out of my closet. Literally, I mean, not the homosexual closet. Funny thing is, I don't think I had my owl dress until I was five. 78. Also, I can remember what it felt like to wear the owl dress. I look down in my mental memory and am shocked to find no breasts. Oh yeah, I was five. My God, I'm eye to eye with a doorknob. Nowadays, sometimes I hit my head on doorframes. 79. I don't GET what 'emo' means. What does 'emo' mean? 80. I can still sense the air in the trunk when me and Yexin went to the apple orchard in third grade and insisted on riding in the trunk. We analyzed our overusage of the word 'Okay'. And thumped on the roof. 81. I have been off meds for over six weeks now. It's getting better. 82. Chris swears I used to try and touch him all the time in the hallway last year, but I don't remember it at all. I think he made it up to scare me. 83. I am listening to Less Than Jake. 84. I skanked in high heels at Homecoming and my ankles have not been the same since. 85. Mr. Ware calls me 'Hannah Bandanna Rosanna Banana' ALL THE TIME. 86. Of course, he's also giving me an A in both of his classes, so it's all good. 87. I started high school with about three really close friends. 88. I still have three really close friends. Two of them are the same. 89. Who did I lend The Basic Eight to? I can't remember, and I want it back. Right now. 90. My toe is bleeding. Sometimes it does that for no apparent reason. Maybe it thinks it's some other part of my body and is having its period. Eeuuw, that is a disgusting thought, having sex using your toe. Aren't you glad we're almost to a hundred? 91. There is a silverplated golf club on this desk! My dad is a crackhead! he actually bought a silverplated golf club! 92. I reaalllly love chocolate eclairs. No, Adie, you're not the only one who's allowed to write entries about food. 93. Rachel got her license and drove us to the mall. She bought a faux-leather coat and I bought white makeup to make myself look dead. For the vampire costume, not for playing Juliet. Oh, sometimes I wish I were Juliet, except for the suicide part. 94. Strange people IM me sometimes, after seeing my AOL profile. Over half of the time, they've been horny foreign guys. Now, I ask of you. Why don't horny foreign guys ever exist in PERSON? Oh, though. I suppose they do. Dman. Dyslexic Damn. 95. Sometimes I ask the Magic Eight Ball things, but the answer is always obscured in cloudy black murky stuff. I hope that doesn't mean my future is cloudy black murky stuff. 96. What did I originally come onto this computer to do? Oh yeah! Check my mail! Two hours later, we're on 97. I can draw fairly accurate caricatures of my co-workers. 98. My thumb hurts. 99. I'm reading 'Sex, Drugs, and the Twinkie Murders' by Paul Krassner. It is very good. 100. 'Welcome, DanceWiThePanda, to AOL Anywhere! Your mailbox is empty.'
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