03:01 - Wednesday, May. 04, 2005
you freak out
Sometimes I think boys who are straightlaced and vote Republican are hot. Oh shit. I am a horrible person and I never knew it! I would tell all my friends I only think they're hot as a hidden strategy to use 'em and leave 'em so they would be confused over lustfulness and stop converting America into pure evil, but I would be lying to myself, and also to my friends. The truth is, politics don't have much to do with hotness. And maybe they shouldn't. I remember my parents, who have divorced TWICE, both saying to me when I asked them why they ever got together (because they have close to nothing in common) that they got together because their politics were similar. AND WHERE ARE THEY NOW? DIVORCED (twice). It's because they somehow thought it was okay that my dad is a clean freak and my mom's messy, and my mom likes bluegrass and zydeco and my dad likes jazz, prog-rock and Mahler's discordant symphonies, and my mom likes home-cooked food and my dad likes expensive fancy restaurants, and my mom gets angry easily and gets hurt easily while my dad doesn't show any emotions at all and has a slow-burning anger fuse but a mean streak for revenge with the capacity to never forget, AS LONG as they both voted for whoever the hell the Democratic candidate for president was in 1972!!!
It's something about someone who votes different than you being too horrible a person for your naked body to touch, I think, but that's sort of ridiculous. Everyone's a horrible person in some way or another. There are too many people in the world who aren't saints (read: everyone) for there to be too many people around without at least one thing you think is absolutely reprehensible. Politics is just the most obvious. There's things you sometimes don't know about someone that don't rear their heads for years, or maybe even mere months. And what do you do then, if you've been touching their naked body with your naked body for a really long time before you figure it out? You freak out, is what, and break up and get divorced and sue each other and hate each other in a vain attempt to pretend you never loved each other. Awesome.

13:52 - Sunday, May. 01, 2005
infinitely hotter
I prefer reading to watching movies probably 90% of the time unless there's a boy next to me awkwardly trying to do the arm-stretch-around-the-shoulders thing. I LOVE THAT THING, IT IS SO DELICIOUSLY OBVIOUS. If I were to go back to high school, I would date a whole lot more than I did, just so I could see that again. The best part of it is laughing and laughing and laughing until he's really uncomfortable, thinking you're laughing at his clumsy skillz, and then kissing him and kissing him, because his skillz are absolutely awesome, and nervous hittings-on are infinitely hotter than confident pompous I'm-sure-I'm-scoring-you ones.

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