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22:54 - Thursday, Jul. 01, 2004
I was meaning last night to write an entry about how even though there are all different types of boys in the world, they all love a single type of girl, but I guess it's not meant to be. Maybe I'll obscure it in poetry instead, where nobody can get mad at me or be hurt.

Earlier today, 5 or so, my entry was going to be a single 'I am already starting to detach myself...' but in the hours since, I have changed it to:
Things That Are Sweet: cooking salmon for dinner for no reason, having a houseful of groceries for the first time in two and a half weeks, champagne mangoes, the promise of American Beauty tomorrow, Nick sampling the fart sounds I can make with my hands into Reason, my $100 tax refund, getting to trip-sit a friend taking shrooms for the first time on the Fourth of July, an 81 degree sunny day for the first time in ages, and the blonde streak in my hair that Lara bleached in that only I know is there because the rest of my hair is blonde too.
Things That Are Not Sweet: the fact that I thought I was capable of detaching, or that I would want to, and that I'm reading a book by Rush Limbaugh and agree with a few of the things he says.

11:31 - Wednesday, Jun. 30, 2004
now do 'downward dog'!
On the lawn in front of the judicial building there was a ladybug clinging to the highest blade of grass, looking petrified, and it made me wonder: do bugs have 'underground' cities between the soaring blades of grass, just weaving in and out below everyone's asses, shoes, picnic blankets, and foil-wrapped hot dogs, until a bunch of other bugs dare one bug to show its face atop a skyscraper? I don't know, but this one's wings were askew and it was trying to run back down the blade, but it was too off balance and just fell unceremoniously into the dirt, probably to the welcome of laughter from all the other bugs in the city. Maybe it hadn't been counting on the fact that there would be a two-year-old in a mini-pink wedding dress running in circles around our game of gin rummy and doing yoga positions on command from her parents.

15:20 - Sunday, Jun. 27, 2004
much better than that
NOOOOOOOO it's raining and I can't go to the music lab and do my project because I'll get struck by lightning and the amazing amount of pee that God is currently peeing!!!
I wonder if Richard Brautigan had had a blog, how the course of history would have changed. Probably not at all. Probably he would have gotten lazy and not worried about being publish-worthy and just wrote down mispelled and lower-case thoughts and musings in a blog all the time with too many exclamation points and 'LOLs' and then people would get to see him as a lazy unoriginal hack and not buy his books... because what kind of famous author keeps a weblog, anyway?.. and he would have died cold and alone in rainy Oregon a whole hell of a lot sooner.
And that would make me terribly sad, because then I wouldn't get to see the 50s-60s-70s world reflected in such a simple and true way as to make me able to read a story such as 'Sombrero Fallout' to two attentively listening boys, one making a collage and one shrieking with laughter, on a rainy Monday in Boulder in June.

He never wrote about things like his former landlord having the gall to not only not return any of his security deposit of $900 but to ask for $368 in addition for the following things: two new desks, two new dressers, a new lamp, a broken window, carpet-cleaning, and paint for the living room and both bedrooms, in effect claiming that is cost $1268 to fix a shitty old apartment that was shitty when he got there and will always be shitty because it has the nickname of 'Crackside Apartments'.
..... and let's say he did, he'd write about it much better than that.


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