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09:42 - Thursday, Feb. 19, 2004
Yesterday it was 73 degrees outside and smelled like eucalyptus, like California. I opened every window in our apartment and took a nap naked. It was the perfect temperature; no blankets, no fan. At least it smelled like eucalyptus until later it smelled like Boulder was on fire. Smoke hung in the air. I'm not sure where it was from, but probably fires in the hills. I wore sandals for the first time since that freak heat wave in November. I guess that's not too long ago. The soles of my feet felt like a baby's. Every rock that kicked its way in was like red-hot needles.
I got very stoned last night and wrote directions to myself on what the best way to perceive life was. 'This is IMPORTANT. Don't forget the yester-me waving into the future and the today-me waving into the past; comraderie like I never feel otherwise. Comraderie of importance... we know that the gravity of the situation is never as grave as it is.. right.. now. Walk like the earth's got moon gravity, under the bridge at Skunk Creek. Read the poems. I mean really read them, there's no shame in standing under a bridge reading poetry about foxes and rivers written in paint. Remember absurdism, and how exhilarating it can be, and the total let-go of synapses that leads to thoughts rushing snap-snap-snap through your head, five per second, putting life on hold and perceptions on fast-forward. This has something to do with day-sleep, but there has to be a resolution to the headaches and I haven't found it yet. Accept things for what they are because there's no point in doing anything else... no gain to be had from resentment.'
In my purple book that I haven't written in in years because I'm such a type-aholic, handwritophobic.

21:43 - Sunday, Feb. 15, 2004
the best conversation ever
Boy 1: 'Just because I go to CU, it's gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. Like, it's the #1 party school, and now the football player sex scandal. And I'm not even a football player, so I didn't even get to GO to the sex parties. I'm going to be, like, applying for a job, and the interviewer's just gonna look at me and go.. 'fuck you.'

Boy 2: 'I'm a philosophy major, so nobody's ever going to look at me and go 'fuck you'.

Boy 1 (looking at Boy 2): Fuck you.


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